“Welcome back, everyone, to Dr. Byrnes’ TOEFL Show! I’m so glad you’re here because today we’re diving into something super important for the TOEFL Writing Section—the email task. And not just any part of it, but something many students get completely wrong: the tone of voice.
Now, a lot of students think that if an email is formal, it has to be polite, polite, polite all the time. You sprinkle in a few ‘could you please’ here and there, and voila—you’ve got it, right? Well… not exactly. The tone actually depends on the situation and the audience. Who you’re writing to, what you need from them, and the urgency of the situation all matter. Sometimes, polite and indirect works. Sometimes, you need to be firm, even if it’s still professional. Today, we’re going to explore one of those situations.
Imagine this: you ordered a textbook online for your class, and it still hasn’t arrived. You really need it to stay on track for your midterms. How do you write your email? Let’s look at a couple of common mistakes first so we know what not to do.”
[Example 1 – Too Hesitant]
“Here’s the first email. It’s polite, maybe too polite. The writer starts with ‘I am writing to humbly address a concern…’ and uses phrases like ‘could you please possibly investigate…’ and ‘I would really appreciate expedited shipping if it’s not too much trouble.’
The problem here is this: the student has every right to receive the book they paid for. Acting timid, as if you’re asking a favor, actually weakens your email. The message doesn’t create urgency, and the company might not take it seriously because it sounds more like a polite suggestion than a legitimate request.”
[Example 2 – Too Aggressive]
“Now, let’s swing to the other extreme. This email is aggressive, angry, and honestly, a little hilarious—perfect for a Reddit post, maybe, but not for your TOEFL email task. The writer writes, ‘I am writing to express my absolute outrage…’ and even calls the company incompetent. Threats, insults, sarcasm—check, check, check.
Yes, this communicates urgency, but it also screams unprofessional. Nobody likes getting yelled at in an email, and this tone can actually make the situation worse. It’s not the right way to demand what’s yours.”
[The Perfect Tone]
“So what do you do? You need to be firm, professional, and polite—all at the same time. Let me show you an example:
The subject line is clear: ‘URGENT: Order #45782 Status - “Introduction to Literary Theory.”’ The email starts directly, ‘I am writing regarding Order #45782… Having received neither the textbook nor a shipping confirmation after three weeks, I am seeking an immediate update on the status of this delivery.’ Notice that it’s polite, but it clearly states the problem and urgency.
The writer goes on to explain why it’s important: ‘As the semester is already underway and my midterm examinations are approaching, it is essential that I receive this material immediately to remain current with my coursework.’ Then they make a clear, professional request: ‘Please provide an update on this order at your earliest convenience. Given the delay, I would appreciate it if you could either dispatch the book via expedited shipping at no additional cost or issue a full refund.’
Finally, they close politely but firmly with ‘Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.’ This email is perfect because it balances assertiveness with professionalism. It communicates urgency without being rude, which is exactly what TOEFL wants you to demonstrate.”