(Summarized Excerpt from the video)
Okay, let’s evaluate this email together.
Email Strengths
- Appropriate opening: “Hi Kevin” fits a semi-formal situation where the writer knows Kevin.
- Clear purpose: The email immediately explains the reason for writing (sharing a restaurant experience), which TOEFL examiners prefer.
- Organized structure: Information is clearly arranged in paragraphs and a logical order.
- Logical progression: Problems are presented step-by-step (service problem first, then food problem).
- Specific examples: Concrete details such as “tomato soup was served cold” and “a rare steak was served well-done.”
- Evidence-based complaint: Specific examples are stronger than vague statements like “the food was bad.”
Email Weaknesses
- Rude and condescending tone: Words like “horrible,” “unpleasant,” and “bad recommendation” sound harsh.
- Overly emotional language: Expressions such as “This shocked me” make the writer sound dramatic.
- Disrespectful final paragraph: Statements blaming Kevin feel mean and patronizing.
- Condescending advice: Telling Kevin to check Google reviews and star ratings sounds insulting rather than helpful.
How to Give Constructive Feedback
- Use polite and neutral language
- Avoid emotionally charged words like “horrible,” “unpleasant,” and “bad.”
- Use softer alternatives such as “The food did not meet our expectations.” or “The recommendation didn’t hit the mark.” This keeps the tone professional and respectful.
- Focus on facts, not feelings
- Describe what happened instead of using emotional adjectives.
- Examples: “We waited 40 minutes before placing our order.” / “We were not able to order a drink or appetizer while waiting.”
- Facts communicate problems clearly without sounding dramatic.
- Avoid using ‘you will’
- “You will” often sounds like a command or order, not a neutral statement.
- Examples of commanding tone: “You will listen to me.” / “You will do as you are told.”
- In feedback emails, this can sound critical, judgmental, or patronizing.
- Use modal verbs for polite suggestions
- Replace “you will” with modal verbs: could, might, may.
- Examples: “Perhaps next time, you could check reviews or ratings.” / “It might be helpful to look at menu options before recommending a restaurant.”
- Modal verbs turn commands into suggestions and keep the tone polite.
- Acknowledge effort and express appreciation
- Recognize that the person was trying to help. Show appreciation even if the result was not good.
- Examples: “Thank you for the recommendation.” / “I appreciate your effort in organizing the dinner.”
- Appreciation helps balance criticism and maintain a positive relationship.